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CV Gaffes
- My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels, and my ability to complete projects on time is unspeakable
- Education: Curses in liberal arts, curses in computer science, curses in accounting
- Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store.
- I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse
- I am a rabid typist
- Created a new market for pigs by processing, advertising and selling a gourmet pig mail order service on the side.
- Proven ability to track down and correct erors
- Personal interests: Donating blood. 15 gallons so far
- I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely nothing and absolutely no one
- Don't take the comments of my former employer too seriously, they were unappreciative beggars and slave drivers
- My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meterology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage
- Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department
- Cover letter: 'Thank you for your consideration. Hope to hear from you shorty'!