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- In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable
- In a Leipzig elevator: Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up
- In a Belgrade elevator: To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order. (Ed. I'll have whatever they're having!)
- In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk
- In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 & 11 am daily
- In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian orthodox Monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday. (Ed. Nice to know these things are so well planned)
- In an Austrian hotel for skiers: Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension
- In a Hong Kong dress shop: Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation
- In a Vienna hotel: In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the porter. (Ed. Don't you feel sorry for the poor guy?!)
- Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan: Stop! Drive sideways!
- Norwegian cocktail lounge: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar
- Car rental brochure in Tokyo: When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor
- A Finnish hotel's instructions in case of fire: If you are unable to leave your room, expose yourself in the window
- Office of a Roman doctor: Specialist in women and other diseases
- In a Bangkok dry-cleaners: Drop your trousers here for best results.