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The Parents Dictionary
- DUMBWAITER: one who asks if the kids would care to order dessert
- FEEDBACK: the inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots
- FULL NAME: what you call your child when you're angry with him
- GRANDPARENTS: the people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right
- HEARSAY: what toddlers do when anyone mutters a rude word
- INDEPENDENT: how we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say
- OW: the first word spoken by children with older siblings
- PUDDLE: a small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it
- SHOW OFF: a child who is more talented than yours
- STERILIZE: what you do to your first baby's dummy by boiling it, and to your last baby's dummy by blowing on it
- TOP BUNK: a place you should never put a child wearing Superman pyjamas