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This section covers various things that make me laugh, which I've collected over the years
from books, websites, TV programs and radio. I hope you enjoy them too...
Employee Performance
The first section consists of comments from performance reviews (not mine, I hasten to add!) followed by some extracts from job application references.
- "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and started to dig."
- "His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity."
- "Works well if under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."
- "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."
- "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."
- "This employee should go far - and the sooner he starts, the better." Ed. My favourite!
- Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
- Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.
- A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
- Fell out of the family tree.
- The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
- It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.
- It takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.
- He's got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.
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